An Unexpected Christmas Gift

It was a Tuesday night and I sat down to watch one of my favorite television programs at the time, M.A.S.H. My wife was in the kitchen making Christmas cookies getting ready for the holiday. She was in the final weeks of her pregnancy and we were anticipating a new arrival after the New Year. It had been cold and I was working in construction at the time, so work was very slow.
I enjoyed relaxing at night in a warm room after working in the cold all day.
Shortly after nine, I heard my wife say oh, no. I rushed into the kitchen to find that her water broke. We both were excited and nervous, because we knew what was happening. We called the doctor and he asked if she was in any pain, she had none. We were told to wait until she had contractions before going to the hospital. In the meantime, we were to take it easy and arrive at the hospital at eight in the morning, if she didn't have any contractions. We proceeded to get the suitcase ready for the trip, and decided to go to bed for the night. I never slept, every few minutes my wife thought she was having contractions and I would have to time them. We had no clue what we were doing, it was like being in a comedy, only we were the stars. She never seemed to be in much pain, so we waited till morning came and off to the hospital we went.
It took almost seven hours of inducing labor but around four o' clock in the afternoon, we had the most beautiful little girl. I couldn't believe my eyes, she was so small, with the darkest hair. When I saw her I was in awe. I knew from that moment she would be the most precious gift I could ever have received.
What is it about a baby girl? She makes a father feel like a king. He walks the hospital floor strutting like a peacock. His daughter is the most beautiful in the nursery.
December 22, 1976. the day my daughter was born. I remember thinking how rich a man I was. I had a beautiful wife, who loved me, and now I had a daughter whom I would give love and receive love. It seemed like just yesterday she was born, but can it be thirty four years. Where did the time go. She has gone from a baby girl to a little girl, from an awkward teen, to a young lady, from a lady to a mature woman. All these stages, and with each stage a proud father standing there and admiring. Sometimes, I wonder if she knows the joy
she has brought in my life. How proud I am of all her accomplishments. She truly has made me feel rich beyond my imagination. She is one of my greatest achievements in life. I am proud to be known as her Dad.

Christmas Thoughts

When I was young I remember Christmas as being an exciting time. All I could think about was what kind of presents I would receive and how many. As I got older Christmas became a time of giving. What kind of presents I could get for members of my family, trying hard to find something special. Later on I would spend countless dollars on gifts for my wife. I loved seeing her open the presents that I got for her, always surprising her with at least one thing she didn't expect. When the kids came, Christmas, was a time for them. I still bought for my wife, but the children came first. As the kids got older I found that Christmas didn't seem the same. All the holiday hoopla seemed annoying and lots of time I couldn't wait for it to be over. Now I have two grandsons, and
for the first time in a long time, I am enjoying the holiday. I started right after Thanksgiving, putting up the decorations and lights. Amazingly I found myself enjoying it. Thanks to my wife the house has become a Christmas village and we
never argued about how many times I had to go up into the attic.
Something else is different about this Christmas. The more I see the glow in my grandsons eyes as they look at the trains and decorations, I have come to understand what Christmas is about. Christmas is a time when we are coming to the end of another year. It is a time when we should reflect on what transpired in our daily lives throughout the year. It is a time for healing and forgiving. It is a time to be thankful for what we have been given. It is a time to
reach out and extend an olive branch to those we have hurt and those who have hurt us. We are all guilty of doing things that cause others harm. We are getting older and life is too short to constantly be at odds with people who we considered to be friends or family. Christmas is about celebrating Christ. We
should make it our priority to be like Him, and make peace with those whom we are at odds with. We should look at Christmas like my grandsons, a time of joy, excitement and awe, and innocence. Christmas is a time for peace, so let's
extend the hand of peace to all in our lives.
May you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy and healthy, and peaceful New Year.

Dec.8,1980

I remember being woke up by the radio on that cold December day. The announcer said today's top story is Beatle John Lennon is dead. He was shot and died early this morning at a New York hospital. December 8, 1980. I was shocked, even my wife who usually slept later was awakened by the news. We couldn't believe it.

I always liked John Lennon, he wasn't my favorite Beatle but without a doubt he was the most influential of the group. All of his songs seemed to have a specific meaning and they seemed to touch all the social issues of the day. I always thought he was a little goofy, and sometimes completely eccentric, but he had a way with music that made you listen and think.

I believe his best song was "Imagine". It is soothing and peaceful and it has meaning. Some say it is a song about communism or socialism. I think it is a song about " Utopia".  St. Thomas More created the word when he wrote about a perfect world of social, politics and law.  The most important meaning, of the song was peace.If there is one thing John Lennon strived for it was peace throughout the world.  It wasn't just peace from war, but peace in every day things we do. Peace at work, or where you live,
peace among your friends and enemies.
 

John Lennon would be almost seventy today, it is ashame that for the last thirty years we were deprived of his talent for making meaningful music. I listen to the Beatles quite often, and I enjoy their music as much today as I did when I was young. When I hear a Lennon song, I can't help but wonder what might have been.  It seems so many influential people leave this earth at a young age.  I wonder if they ever know how much their contributions have meant to us still living and listening. 

Thanksgiving

The first thing you would here is Dad telling Mom how she should cook the turkey, then you would hear her say shut up , I know what I'm doing. Both parents had loud voices, so we never got to sleep late in the Vagnozzi houshold.
Thanksgiving was a family day, a time to give thanks for the little we had. Monetary wise we were no where near rich, not even upper middle class. We were rich in family and that is something money can't buy.
The day would start with the smell of coffee. Breakfast would always be the cakes and cookies my sister would bring home from the bakery where she worked. I loved the cream donuts, my younger brother the jelly. After we had breakfast, my older brother would take us to the St. Tommie More vs. Overbrook football game. It was usually the ony game STM would win all year.
I sat in the stands watching the game, dreaming of the day I could play for St. Tommie. My younger brother would be off playing under the stands and running around. When the game was over we would head home, knowing that Mom was working in the kitchen preparing the holiday feast. You could smell
the different flavors from a block away. Our mouths would start watering.
My Father liked to eat dinner early, usually around 2:p.m. We didn't mind because when you eat early, you get to eat again later. We always had some homemade soup to start, usually Scrippels. They were sort of a long stuffed shell
cooked in a chicken broth, sprinkled with cheese. Delicious! Next came the pasta, either ravioli or manicotti or lasagna. Delicious! Then we had a large bowl of salad. Then the turkey would come out with all the fixings. Cranberry sauce, stuffing, couple of different vegetables, a small dish of spaghetti for Dad, he didn't eat veggies.
After all that we had dessert, coffee with annisette, or sambuca, homemade
peach or pear cake, pumpkin pie, or coconut custard, and of course Mom's homemade cookies. We ate like we were going to the electric chair.
Those Thanksgiving dinners were truly some wonderful times for me and I have so many memories of them. We argued and laughed with each other, five brothers and sisters and their parents. Every once in a while, I miss that closeness we all shared. It was Thanksgiving at the Vagnozzi's, and you could hear it from a block away.

A friend for life

When I first met her, it was a quick hello, not too many words spoken. I was with her cousin we were going to play pool and listen to music. I knew she was dating and at the time I didn't think any thing would come about. After a while it seemed we started to hang around together. My brother and her cousin were into playing music. They had a small band and she would come over to listen. She use to bring some of her friends and we would for the most part have a good time.
I don't know exactly how it happened but somehow while talking to her, I could see a twinkle in her eyes. Maybe it is something women do, but all I know, I would never look at her differently again. She became more than just a friend, we started dating. I found that the more I was with her the more comfortable I felt. I could confide in her. I could look into her eyes and actually see her feelings for me. Suddenly, I wanted to spend all my time with her. She became most important in my life. Whatever I would do , would be done for both of us. We decided to marry and become one. We started a family and have been together through good times and bad. We are about to celebrate 39 years of marriage, but we have been friends for over 40 years. I have known her and lived with her longer than my siblings.
She will always come first in my life, even before my children. I have tried to please her every day. I love to hear her laugh, I love to see her smile. I hope I never have to live without her. They say a true friend is hard to find and most of us only have one. The best compliment I can give my wife is she is my one and only true friend. Sometimes when I don't feel right, or worried, I look at her face and still see that twinkle, and all becomes well.

A Good Impression

With Labor Day upon us we unofficially call it the end of summer. Now starts the opening of the new school year. We all have memories of our first day
and the first day of our children. Some memories are very good and some very very bad. The one memory that sticks in my mind is the one teacher who made a good impression on me and consequently helped in my growing up and becoming part of who I am.
I am not going to get involved in salary disputes, or the amount of time teachers work or don't work, or the benefits they receive. These are things that can and should be worked out between them and the local school board.
Most of us did however have a teacher that really helped us and taught us by
setting a good example for us to follow. Maybe it was the way they commanded respect in the classroom, or how they dressed for their job. The time they took to answer questions and go over assignments.
Like all of us, some teachers go above and beyond their job requirements, and like all of us some just do what they have to, to get by. Most of us remember the "bad teachers" but all of us remember the "good teachers"
My favorite teacher was Mr.Valenti. He wasn't very tall but when he came into the classroom, he was always impeccably dressed. I thought he looked sharp.
He always had the "in style" tie or sport jacket. He also had a prescence when he stood in front of the classroom. Mr. Valenti, never seemed to have to raise his voice to be heard. He had a knack for making English and writing very interesting. He always taught the importance of using words and writing those words in sentences that were clear and meaningful. "You have to be able to get your point across, so everyone could understand".
I thought of being a teacher at times, but never put the effort that I should have. I have always thought however, that the speaking and writing, of English are the most important fundamentals that a person can have .
It is why I like writing this blog. Writing down my thoughts and opinions is something I really enjoy . So, I thank Mr. Valenti for making an impression.
I hope when you read this, you think of that teacher who made an impression on you, who you think of till this day. Aside from all the politics, teachers are a very important part of our society. They are responsible for the learning of our youth, some even more so than parents.

"Ugly Americans"

Tomorrow marks the 65th anniversary of the dropping of the atomic bomb on Japan. We hear many sad and sorrowful stories about that fateful day. Many people lost their lives and the ones who survived were scarred for life. We see pictures and listen to news accounts of that day. Most lead us to believe that we should be ashamed of what our country did to Japan and its people. How could our country do such a dastardly thing. They say it wasn't necessary . What they don't tell us is that Japan was resigned to defend their homeland to the death.
All the accounts of the battles of the Pacific Islands, told of the fierce fighting of the Japanese soldiers, against our troops. Many, many men lost their lives.
Those of us who were born after 1945, owe our own lives to President Truman and his decision to drop the "bomb". Most people don't know that the troops who served in the European theatre of war were getting ready to be shipped to the "Pacific" to take part in the invasion of Japan. The experts estimate that casualties on the American side alone would have been in the thousands. Chances are if you are a baby boomer, your Father could have
been one of those casualties. I believe President Truman did the right thing in order to end that terrible conflict. It was a terrible terrible tragedy but I don't believe we as a Nation should have to apoligize for our actions.
I wish the news media would give accounts from both sides when they cover
this and other stories that involve our past. I am tired of always being the "Ugly
American".

Summer in the City

It has been one hot summer so far. Many record breaking temperature days. All this hot weather reminds me of growing up in the old neighborhood. You would get up early and go outside looking for a game of baseball or get your bike and go for a ride, someplace far, maybe to Belmont Plateau. Sometimes you would just sit on the corner and play pinochle, while eating water ice and pretzels. If you were lucky , Father Carbo would take you and a few others to St. Charles Seminary to swim in their olympic pool. Other times we would walk to
Shanahan swim club, and go swimming there. You had to be careful while in the water that "Brutus" didn't grab you and pull you under.
I think the most fun times was when they would turn on the fire hydrant.
Someone would get a wrench and two or three others would go half way up the block as lookouts, to make sure no police were around, and then turn on the fire plug. The water would come gushing out, cold and invigorating, and everyone would be there to enjoy it. The old ladies would come out with their brooms and sweep the sidewalk and scrub the stoops. Those who had a car would get a bucket and start washing it. We had our own water park in the city. Girls would stroll by and dare the guys not to get them wet, they didn't want their hair messed up. It never worked, someone would always get "dunked". After complaining, they walked away feeling popular, they were noticed.
It's funny, no matter how old you get, you can still remember the good times
like they were yesterday. The fire plug always seemed to be a highlight of the hot summer days of my youth. I don't ever remember anything bad when the plug was turned on, just the sounds of kids playing and water gushing.
Eventually, the police would come and turn off the fire plug, leaving everybody sad but satisfyingly cool.
A couple hours later, the lookouts would be back out .

Father's Day Gifts

Every year at this time we celebrate Father's Day. My Dad is no longer here but I think of him very often. I can still see his face when I do something that's not right ,or when I need advice, I hear his voice. When my brothers and sisters were young we used to get Dad gifts, most were things he would never find a use for, but he was always appreciative of them. He would always tell us that the best gift we could give him was to be good kids and don't get in trouble, get good grades and make something of ourselves.
I am the father of a son and a daughter. I used to get all those same kind of gifts that I had a hard time finding uses for. I found myself repeating my Father's words to my children, be good, get good grades, make something of yourself. The best gift a Father can receive, is for his children to follow his advice.
On this Father's day, my daughter and son, will go crazy trying to find something I can use. What they don't know is that they have given me what every father wants. They are very successful, they are college graduates, they make decent money, they have good jobs, and most of all they have become productive citizens of our society. They have followed their father's advice. They have no idea how proud I am of them, how they have matured into a fine young man and a fine young woman. Every where I go I receive compliments from
people who have met them. They tell me what great kids they are, polite and sociable and mannerly. They tell me how lucky I am. The thing is I know it.
So this Father's Day, I will accept their gifts and try to find a use for them, and I will look at them and politely say thanks. When I go to sleep at night, I will smile to myself and thank God for the best father's day gift one could get,
a son and a daughter who are the pride and joy of my life.

Memorial Day

Every year around Memorial Day the cable stations are filled with stories and movies about war and the men and women who fought them. Most of the movies show us the romance and glory and excitement that war brings. Growing up I loved watching them, I couldn't get enough. I especially loved the ones with John Wayne and the Marines. They always seemed to be able to do what it took to get the job done. Of course, John Wayne, was a movie star and never actually served in the military. His movies however, helped contribute quite a lot to the war efforts during his lifetime.
Memorial Day is a time we should be reflecting on those who gave their lives for our country. We have lost many many young men and young women for the ambitions and ideals of world government leaders. These young men and women were usually seventeen to nineteen years old. In the beginning they were in love with the excitement and glory. When they saw the reality of war, the carnage and destruction, they became a changed person. They fought to stay alive and keep their brothers in arms alive. Sadly, this did not happen.
So many were gone prematurely, never to raise a family or become a contributing member to our society. How many of these people could have become president or senator or a doctor, the finder of the cure for cancer.
Endless possibilities for not only these people but for society as a whole. We have lost generations to the tragedy of war.
I still enjoy watching war movies, I don't find war glorious or exciting. I pray someday there will be no wars. This Memorial Day and all Memorial Days I will give thanks to those who gave all and I will pray for them and I will pray that they are the last to know the carnage of war.

Music Memories

As you walk into the building you notice the dancers doing their thing to the music of their youth. Except for a few, most are in step with the beat and all are concentrating hard to perform the next turn or sway of the dance. After a few songs the word spreads that it is time to go inside of the hall and take your seat.
As you settle in, everyone starts waving hello, they want you to see where they are sitting , as if to say my seat is better than yours. The lights start to go dim and all are swept up in the anticipation that the show is about to begin.
When the stage lights come on the band starts to play. You recognize the music of the famous DJ, that you grew up listening to. Out on the stage he comes, very dapper in his Flyers jacket, and immediately he transforms the crowd into teenagers. He calls out their names and starts telling stories about the music and groups you are about to hear. Everyone is smiling and feeling good. For the next three hours you are taken back to the streets where you grew up. You can visualize the old neighborhood, and the boyfriends and girlfriends that you knew such a long time ago. Every song brings back some kind of memory, whether it was happy or sad. You remember where you were and what you were doing when the song first came out over that transistor radio. He is so right when he tells you that the music will always live on. It is part of us all. Think of all the times you are driving around in your car or are working in the house, or just relaxing in the yard. There is always a song that comes on and takes you back to a more simpler and less stressful time of your life. Songs that fill us with memories of loves and lovers lost. We all have one song that reminds us of that one person who was a part of our life.
When the show was over and everyone starts to file out of the hall, you can still see the teenager in their eyes. For the rest of the night, they forget their troubles and remember how it used to be.

The Voice

For the first time in over 32 years, I am unemployed. The company I worked for has been sold and has gone out of business. I now find myself in a strange situation of not having someplace to go when I get up in the morning. Most people who know of my predictment tell me I should sign unemployment and relax and enjoy the summer. It sounds like a good idea. I keep thinking of all the fun things I can do, like golf or enjoy the pool, go to the shore. My head says I should do it, but deep down inside there is a voice that tells me what I have to do. I keep hearing my dad, telling me over and over, how a man is supposed to provide for his family. A man doesn't have the time to take long vacations, especially when there is no paycheck coming in. He taught me a strong work ethic, and it is something that he instilled in me and I have tried to live by my whole life.
I will sign up for unemployment, but I will also be out there hunting for a job.
Who knows maybe I will find something rewarding and will last a long long time.

An important person

There are so many important and famous people in the world that we all look up to. We spend quite a bit of our time trying to emulate them. We try to dress like them, purchase items they advertise, we sometimes go as far as getting surgery to look like they do. There is one person however, who is more important and should be even more famous and that is MOM.
Think of Mom, she carried us in her womb and nurtured us when we were born. She taught us how to talk and walk and how to eat. She set an example to
show us how to behave and how to get along with everyone we came in contact with. Yes there are Dads out there that also did these things, but the main teacher in our lives has been Mom.
Dad went to work, Mom made sure we got to school on time, looked presentable, and did the disciplining when it was called for. There were six words you never heard in my house growing up "Wait till your Father gets home." Lets face it Mom ran the show. Dads are important but Mom is the ultimate. She is the alpha and omega.
This Sunday we honor all Moms, but they should be honored everyday. Mom is without a doubt the most important person, we have ever come in contact with in our lives. So if you want to emulate a famous or important person, try your Mom, but I don't think I would look too good if I dressed like her...........

Understanding Grandchildren

Everyone I know that has grandchildren, tell me that it is so much different than being a parent. I believe I figured out why they say this. When I first became a parent I thought of so many things I wanted to do and share with my children. Somehow things were never the way I had planned. I didn't ignore my kids, or not treat them well and they were never really deprived of anything.
As they grew older, my responsibilities as a parent grew . I just didn't have the time to share like I wanted to because I was busy working to provide for them and their mom. Some times I just couldn't be there for them, like a ball game or dance class, because I had to work. It is a "catch 22" you want to be with them, but you need to work to provide for them.
Now my children are grown and on their own and have their own responsibilities. I still have responsibilities but I also have more time and a little more money than I did then. That is the difference. I can give as much time as I want to my grandchildren. I can treat them and spoil them so much more than I did my children. I worry and care about their well being, but their father now has the duty to provide for them.
It is easier now to take time off and give up extras all for the grandkids. I
can give more of myself to them. So now I understand what my grandparent friends say, it is easier and a lot more fun. Besides, when they get cranky and
restless, I can give them back to their parents and go home to my quiet house.

Reading Obits

In this past Sunday's paper, Lisa Scottoline, wrote an article about reading
obituaries. It turns out she is an avid reader of them. I thought I was weird, because I like to read them also, but apparently we have something in common.
Obituaries tell us so many things about people, that we never would have a gave
thought about. We learn about actors and dancers and inventors and doctors, judges and all sorts of everyday people who have made our lives just a little bit better. Most of these people went through life relatively unnoticed, until they passed away. It seems that when someone writes their obituary, they become famous for that short period of time. It brings meaning to a life. We all can
understand what that particular person meant to his or her family, and their
contributions to society.
Reading the obituaries, can also help us find out about our past relationships with friends and neighbors. How many times have we wondered how so and so's parents are doing, only to find out to late that they passed away. We might have been able to attend the service or send a nice card if we only knew.
I will keep reading the obits, and thanks to Lisa, I won't think of it as being
weird.

Baseball and Dad

It's finally spring. The trees and flowers are blooming, and the days are getting longer. What I like about spring is that Baseball has returned. There is always a new beginning, a feeling of hope, and an excitement that lets you feel things will be better.

Baseball is the one game that fathers and sons, grandfathers and grandsons can have many a conversation about. It is probably the only game that all men have played at one time or another. Each generation has its own list of great ballplayers, Honus Wagner, Babe Ruth, Willy Mays, Mickey Mantle right up to the stars of today. Grandfathers and fathers would tell how great the ballplayers were in their day. The players today would not make it in those days, they would say.

My Dad, liked Baseball. I always thought he just had a passing interest. He really liked the game. As I got older we would talk about the Phillies and what happened in the game the night or day before. When I would go visit him and Mom, the game was always on. I don,t ever remember him having a favorite player, but he knew about Ashburn and Roberts, Callison, Richie Allen. He knew the good players on other teams too.

In the last year of his life, the Phils were making a run for the pennant. He knew they didn't have any great players, but he liked the way they played the game. Somehow they won when they shouldn't have. In the last few days, while in the hospital, he told me " I really like that Pete Incaviglia", he can really hit some big home runs." I know why he liked Pete. It was because Pete was Italian. My Dad liked the Phillies, but to have an Italian playing for them and doing well, was more than he could ask for.

My Dad never got to see the Phils go to the World Series in that year, but the last time we talked, it was about Pete and the Phillies. Every year when Baseball season starts, I think of that time, and I think of my Dad, and I smile and say to myself " I like that Incaviglia".

Easter Traditions

I remember when I was young at Easter time in our neighborhood, the priest used to come visit the houses on the block. They used to bless our house and all who lived in it. My mom always baked for the Easter holiday, come to think of it she baked for every holiday. She would make Riccotta pie and also my favorite thing, Easter Bread. It was so delicious, it was light and tasted more like a cake than bread. She would make the bread long, or round and she would even braid it. The house would smell like a bakery all week. We were not allowed to eat the pie or bread until they were blessed by the priest. We could not wait for Holy Saturday to come. My brother or I would be the lookout for Father to come down the block, we would count the houses before he would get to ours.
When he finally arrived, he would talk to Mom and ask how things were. He would talk to us about school. He always seened to know what went on in each of our classes. The whole time I'm saying under my breath, "give us the blessing already".. Finally, we would kneel and he would bless us all and the food on the table. He would say goodbye and go on to the next house. Before the door closed we would be eating the pie and I would be stuffing my face with Easter Bread. I smile now as I think about it...
P.S. The priest don't come by to bless the house and food today, some traditions just seem to get lost in time. I still get my Easter bread though, thanks to my wife. Truth be told she makes it as good, if not better than Mom.

Old Man

An old man was laid to rest this past Friday. To some he was known as a husband, a father, a Pop-Pop, brother or friend. To most others he was just someone who drove his car too slow, or could not follow directions, or was just a pain in the ass. This old man however, was a hero. He and many others of his generation spent a good portion of their youth in faraway places as France, Belguium, the phillipines, Iwo Jima or Okinawa. They saw things that were horrible. They carried on knowing that at any time they could have lost their own life. If you asked him why, he would say it was his duty. He knew his country needed him and tyranny had to be stopped. The real heroes were the ones left behind, he would tell you.

So the next time you see an old man, think of where and what his life must have been like, when he was young. Remember, you don't know someone until you walk in their shoes.